Odd Man Out

I came to Dallas once again this week, but this time it was to attend an all-day seiminar/workshop on growing a business. As of the time I started writing this, I've sat through only one of the three keynote speakers, author and top negotiator Herb Cohen and am waiting for one of the "classes" to begin.

However, in the already-short amount of time I've spent at this seminar, I can already tell that I am sticking out like a sore thumb. I suppose it's not a bad thing and, in fact, is something I have grown very accustomed to over the years. But this time is seems even more deafening than ever. Here I am, among my "peers" and I don't see anyone who actually looks like a peer.

For those that know me, you know that I am not a suit and tie kind of guy. I don't mind suits, I just don't want to or have to wear them on a regular basis. I think the last time I wore one was at a wedding.

So here I am. Sitting here in this room and walking amongst the masses of "business types" and feeling completely left out. Feeling odd and awkward all at the same time. A majority of the people here are probably small business owners, I would imagine. Or at least middle- to upper-management of someone else's company. At best, they're wearing full-on suits and at worst, something a little more casual like slacks and a polo. Ironically, even the most casual people look a little stiff. And there's me. My very holy, yet somehow still expensive Abercrombie jeans, green Saucony shoes, a grey Gap ribbed T-shirt which is currently covered up by a Navy blue zip-up sweater (Hotel conference rooms are always set at 42 degrees!). Then of course there's my trusty incase computer case and my iPod that is always with me.

I'm still looking for people who are at least in my age group and then the ones that are in my age group who aren't all "businessed-out". I think I may be on my own on this one!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking the "suits". I just think it's not only ironic, but somehow unfortunate that despite what I do and what my interests are, that I have somehow missed the part where conformity was a part of the business development process. Then again, I have always gone against the grain and am often wanting to spit in the eye of conformity and traditionalism (which just makes it even harder to live where I do).

So I suppose the point is that I don't mind being different. I just tend to be on the other extreme of where everyone else is as opposed to a slight shift over. It's cool, I suppose, to be that much of an individual amongst a vast group of people who might not know the definition of such a word. Often times, though, it's lonely. Too bad I don't have any desire to play the part simply to fix that loneliness. I think I'd rather be authentic and lonely than fake with friends. And I understand the theory of dressing for success. But how do you do so when it makes you look like everyone else around you? Besides, who am I here to impress? And even if there were someone here I needed something from, wouldn't dressing a certain way present myself as something that I am not? Personally, I prefer the Steve Jobs style of dressing for success. No one does jeans and a turtleneck better!

Most of the time I attempt to write blog entries that would appeal to the masses or ones I think most people would at least identify with in some degree. I think this one may end that streak. But hopefully there's a few out there who know where I'm coming from.

[In other news, I started another blog devoted specifically to more art-based issues like music, film, and life in general. Check it out. It's fun.]